“I don’t hate you, John. I don’t even dislike you. I like you hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back. I hate this idea, that you’re the best…. because you’re not. I’m the best. I’m the best in the world. There’s one thing that you’re better at than I am, and that’s kissing Vince McMahon’s ass. You’re as good as kissing Vince’s ass as Hulk Hogan was. I don’t know if you’re as good as Dwayne though, he’s a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is. Whoops! I’m breaking the fourth wall. I am the best wrestler in the world. I’ve been the best ever since day one when I walked into this company, and I’ve been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that no one else wanted me to admit. That’s right, I’m a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar. And he split, just like I’m splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Brock is I’m going to leave with the WWE Championship. I’ve grabbed so many of Vince’s imaginary brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that they’re just that, they’re completely imaginary and the only thing that’s real, is me and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I have proved to everyone that I’m the best on this microphone, in that ring, even at commentary, nobody can touch me! And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I’m not on your lovely little collector cups, I’m not on the cover of the program, I’m barely promoted, I don’t get to be in movies, I’m certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network. I’m not on the poster for WrestleMania, I’m not on the signature that’s produced at the start of the show. I’m not on Conan O’Brien, I’m not on Jimmy Fallon but the fact of the matter is I should be and trust me, this isn’t sour grapes, but the fact that Dwayne is in the main event of WrestleMania next year and I’m not makes me sick! Oh and hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just the biggest part of me leaving as anything else. Because you’re the ones who are sipping out of those collector cups right now, you’re the ones that buy those programs that my face isn’t on the cover of, and then at 5 in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my face so you can get an autograph and try to sell it on eBay because you’re too lazy to go get a real job. I’m leaving with the WWE Championship on July 17th and hell, who knows, maybe I’ll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe I’ll go back to Ring of Honor. Hey Colt Cabana, how ya doin’? The reason I’m leaving is you people because after I’m gone, you’re still gonna pour money into this company, I’m just a spoke on the wheel. The wheel’s gonna keep turning and I understand that. I’d like to think that maybe this company will be better after Vince McMahon’s dead but the fact is, it’s gonna get taken over by his idiotic daughter and his dufus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family.”
